Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that my idea of comfort heaven would be throwing on my pjs, cuddling my hot water bottle, cup of tea or glass of red wine on my side table and then crawling into bed to either read a book or watch a film. That to me is pure and utter comfort. A safe place, where I feel secure and in control. Getting out of bed and facing the world with all the usual daily dramas and unknowns is stepping out of my comfort zone. I may not enjoy it all the time, but if I never leave the comfort of my warm cosy bed, how will I have a social life? How will my children get to school? How will meals be cooked? The list goes on and on, its simply a part of life and development and growth.
I'm thinking about my comfort zone, as a few days ago I posted my previous blog about being a work from home / self-employed mum whilst the school holidays are on, and the pressures and struggles of it all. I created the blog and scheduled it to post. To be honest I was out being mum the day it was scheduled to upload, so I completely forgot about it. It was when I got home, I saw that someone who I had mentioned my website to, had shared the blog post on Twitter. As I usually do when it comes to my business, I shared the blog on my business social media accounts. Usually I post them on my business accounts, and leave it there, but on this particular day, for some crazy reason, I decided to post the blog on my personal Facebook account. I drafted what I wanted to say, copied the link, all I had to do was press post. So why was I hesitating? Why was I scared to share my blog? Before I could analyse it too much, I just pressed post and shoved the phone down.
I then spent the next however many hours worrying what people would think when they saw the post & if they read the blog. Were people liking it just to be kind? Did they really mean their nice comments? Had I made any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors? Were people thinking I was too up myself writing a blog and having a website? Were they thinking who does she think she is, female Alan Sugar? The self-doubt was relentless. The thing about me, is as confident, loud and bubbly as I am, I am quite a closed off person. I only allow people to see what I want them to see. I don't allow myself to be vulnerable to others at all. So for me putting this blog out there, for all my Facebook friends to see and read made me feel exposed. It is one thing sharing it on my business social media pages, as many of the people who follow me are not in my social circle outside of social media, so I won't see them in my everyday life. My Facebook account on the other hand, these people are my family, friends, mums I see at the school, just generally people I see in my "real" life. What will they be thinking when they see me next? Will they have positive or negative thoughts? I was making myself vulnerable to others.
So I went to my old faithful glass of red wine, and stopped the negative thoughts for a moment and had a word with myself. I've been saying for the longest while I want to build a brand, build a future for my sons, and their children, and so on. I want to live a life where I have options. I want to set an example to my sons that you set yourself a goal, and you pursue it until you smash out the park. The only way I can do this is to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there. How can I build a brand if nobody knows about it, because I feel too embarrassed to put myself on the line? So after another glass of red and another word with myself, I decided as hard as it will be, and as much as I want to shy away from it, I'm going to put myself out there, because who knows what adventures await once I open myself up and step out of my comfort zone. Who knows where things will lead once I allow myself to be vulnerable? There is no telling what will happen or who I will meet along the way, just by putting myself out there. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Leaving the comfort zone is scary and frightening, but at the same time super exciting. Who knew that just sitting and typing my thoughts and life in a blog would give me such joy. I never did. The thought of writing a blog 12 months ago, would have been meet with a firm hell-no, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give it a try, and I'm really enjoying it now.
As the saying goes "If you want to have something you never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done" - Thomas Jefferson.
So time to step out of that comfort zone, and keeping moving out of it, because #ThisMumMeansBusiness.