I’ve been a productively busy Butterflyy lately. Some of the comments I have been getting a lot recently include “It’s alright for you, you got your own business” or “You wouldn’t understand cause you’re not struggling” or “You’re always at all these events, is it even work, or are you just partying?” or my personal favourite “You can afford it now you’re Ms big businesswoman”. Just to mention a few.
It was these comments, among with some other circumstances, that led to it being said to me that; "People only see the 3-tier cake, and not the mess in the kitchen!" That really got me thinking, how we are so quick to form an opinion based on what we see & think we know about people and their lives. For the record, I do struggle, and in no way am I all put together and where I want to be either financially or personally, but I keep striving.
Nobody knows how many overdrafts, empty cupboards/fridge, unpaid bills, missed celebrations, sleepless nights, panic attacks, late night studies, early mornings and plenty more a person has had to go through just to be able to achieve their goal. It may look all pretty and nice at the graduation ceremony, which it should, but before you envy that person, do you know how many nights did that student stayed up studying all night long? The new car may run amazingly, but how many extra hours of work did that person have to put in to be able to buy it? The new house may be pristine, in a beautiful neighbourhood, and you well wish it was you living there, but how many extra hours and mortgage lender’s hoops did they have to jump through, to be able to raise the deposit & be approved for that mortgage? That business may be providing for them & their family now, and they can afford to go on holidays every year now, but how long did they have to endure working a 9-5, & then coming home to work on their business, and still be in debt, simply because the business is draining out more of their finances than it actually brings in?
Too often, we only see the successful well-presented end result of things, not knowing all the chaos, stress and mess that has been going on and may even still be going on behind the scenes. It’s just like having a baby, everyone gushes over the absolute cutie newborn baby, but what about mama going through morning sickness, emotional stress if she’s ever miscarried before, water retention, heartburn, not being able to sleep comfortably due to her growing belly, and then not forgetting the birth, oh the pain. Mummy had to endure all that and sometimes more to have that little cutie pie baby.
Never be jealous or envious of a person’s success, nobody knows the tears they have cried or the sacrifices they have made to get to where they are at this point. When it’s your time, so long as you too are consistently putting in the hard work and effort, then your sacrifices & determination will be rewarded too. Naturally you’ll wonder “What about me? When is it going to be my turn?” When you see those around you succeeding & winning at their goals, it’s normal to question if you will ever get there, best believe I did, plenty of times. I’m still not where I want to be in various areas of my personal and business life, but I refuse to hate on anyone of my family & friends who achieve their goals before I achieve mine, my time will come too, provided I keep pursuing my dreams and don’t give up.
When you see those around you getting theirs & winning, whatever you do, don’t hate. Refuse to be bitter, be genuinely happy for your family and friends. Clap for them, and be their biggest cheerleader when they succeed, because all that good energy will come right back to you abundantly and in ways you could not even imagine. I can vouch for that.
When it’s your turn to show off the fruits of your labour, and showcase your well-presented finished 3-tiered cake, you won’t even mind all the mess that took place in the kitchen.
Basing opinions purely on the parts we see can’t really ever end well. Seeing the whole picture is everything.