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The Power of Saying No

Sometimes, you just have to say no to some things!

This time in lockdown has made many of us, I’m sure, take a good long hard look at ourselves. Who we are as a person, the things we like about ourselves, and the bits we’re not so happy with.

For me, one of the things, amongst others that I have discovered about myself, is that I’m an enabler. I’m one of those people who will more times than not make sure everyone around me is happy and ok, even if it means that it is detrimental to me and my well-being. What I have discovered during this time of quarantine, is that I’m not actually responsible for anyone else but myself and my two boys, and even them, that is to an extent. Realising that has then lead me to discover that at times, it’s ok for me to say no. No, I can’t go into this partnership with you. No, I can’t have this particular conversation right now. No, I’m not available to you at this present time.

No is a very powerful word. Being able to say no helps us to become confident in setting standards and boundaries, and we shouldn’t feel guilty for that.

When we say no to things, it allows us to remove and / or stay away from energies that may be detrimental to us. It humbles us into knowing that we can’t do everything. It enables us to empower others and share the spotlight. It forces us to make others take responsibility for themselves and their own lives. It stops us being distracted. It stops others from draining us.

The question then becomes; When should we say no? Over my time in my business journey, one of the main lessons I have learnt is that I don’t have to say yes to everything. Not every opportunity, relationship or experience that comes our way is good for us, even if it is something we want. There have certainly been times for me when I have said yes to something, and then after getting into it, I regret my decision and wished I had said no and begin looking for the nearest exit.

So in deciding when we should say no, we need to ask ourselves:

  • Does what I’m being presented with move me closer to the goals I have for my life?

  • Does it support the path in my life that I am on?

  • Does it conflict with something I am already doing or plan to do that is more in line with my life & the goals I have for it?

  • Does it benefit everyone involved fairly?

  • Does it conflict with my moral and/or spiritual beliefs?​​

I’m understanding more and more, in various aspects of my life, that it is totally fine for me to say no to something if I want to. That's not me being rude or difficult or anything like that, it’s just me deciding to do what is right for me and makes me happy, and sometimes that means saying no to the requests of others. Now, I have made the conscious decision, that unless what I am being asked to do, whether in my personal or business life, works for me & my life, my answer will be firm and polite no.

There is no shame or disrespect in saying no. Sometimes I will explain to the person why I have said no, and other times, if it’s not needed, I may feel I do not need to explain my decision. It’s my choice to say yes or no, and I can no longer say yes to things, at the detriment of my own happiness or well-being.

Stay Safe! Stay Home! Stay Blessed!


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